


More Than You Can Know

by Persefonie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Books, F/M, Fluff, Libraries, Marriage Law Challenge, Sandwiches, Slow Burn, Studying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24420163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persefonie/pseuds/Persefonie
Summary: Snape recovers, and just wants everything to calm down so he can get back to teaching, reading and brewing.Hermione realizes that Ron was not the man she thought he was, and is offered a post at Hogwarts. She has nowhere else to go, but nowhere she would rather be. With everyone moving on, all the more quickly due to the new Marriage Law and having left school, she is on her own. At least she still has a good book and a cup of tea, but maybe something more is on its, his, way.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 77
Kudos: 244





	1. Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?

**Author's Note:**

> I did a bit of timeline fiddling to make it a bit easier on the age gap. Snape is 2 years younger than Lily, and Hermione spent a few years worth in time turner shenanigans. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, I'm rather shy about posting. So please be kind. 
> 
> All belong truly to Rowling, I am simply playing in her sandbox.

Snape recovered.  
His head hurt and he would always have a scar but by the time he woke there was a letter absolving him from all violations of wizard law. A copy of the Daily Prophet with his scowling visage on the cover and a magical sack (bigger on the inside) full of fan mail on his bed side table. Saint Mungo’s thankfully had extended him the courtesy of privacy and only allowed in family, so no one.  
The article made his head pound in fury, he was hailed as a hero, genius, and romantic of epic proportions. How would he show his face in public ever again? Potter had spilled his guts to that simpering twat Rita Seeker, and she had painted him as a lovesick puppy.  
Fools the lot of them.  
He could only hope things would be back to normal now, not that he really knew what normal was. He just hoped he could return to his dungeons and study subjects of his choosing in peace without having to worry about dark lords, plots, or treachery. The healer assigned to him informed him there were many witches and wizards who wanted to meet with him. Including Potter and his insipid groupies, the poor healer, flinched when he growled out his utter rejection of that idea, it seemed his vocal cords were healing slowly. Snape wished, there was some way to avoid those three forever. The only person he allowed to enter was McGonagall, and at that he had no choice, she was his boss.  
“Morning Severus,” she gave him a warm if a bit awkward smile, “I had not expected you to let any one of us in. The letter letting me know you would see me surprised me greatly.”  
His normally low voice cracked from un use and some left-over scarring, “You are the headmistress still correct? I am duty bound to accept my employer and wanted you to know that I fully expect and hope to be at Hogwarts teaching potions in the fall. Sooner, if they will release me from this cursed place. I am climbing the walls here with nothing to occupy my mind.” The last part was said with a scowl.  
He saw her brows lift in surprise and was that relief? “Of course, Severus, you will always have a place at Hogwarts teaching anywhere you desire. To be honest I was having a terrible time trying to track down anyone who would be a reasonable substitute, but you are most assuredly the best of all the options.” Her eyes took on a twinkle that reminded him oddly of Dumbledore a fact that made his eyes narrow.  
“Minerva, there is one thing I will not be doing. I intend to teach, study and spend my time, happily I might add, far away from the majority of the magical world. I will be no one’s pawn, I will take no messages, report to no one information aside from what teaching requires. My masters are dead and I will be damned if I take any new ones.” This short speech was delivered with vehement hatred when he spoke the term masters and warning.  
“And I would require no less and no more than that. You are an excellent teacher Severus, though you could do with a lighter hand at times,” His eyebrow cocked at this. “You have served the order well and nothing more is required but we are happy to have you back to Hogwarts.”  
The first year following the war, he had to devote entirely too much time to avoiding thankful 7th years. Thanks to a special dispensation allowing those who had been at Hogwarts during the war to return and finish their courses, that included Potter and his sycophants, all his classes were doubled. He was especially liberal with docking points from all the houses that year, much to his shame the Slytherin students who returned were just as bad in their fawning praise. However, his life was rewarding. For the first time in years he was able to devote time to true study with no ulterior motives. No sussing out details that would probably get him killed, no horrid unbreakable vows to keep dunderheaded students from getting themselves killed. Just teaching, students and study. NEWTs and OWLs were done with remarkably good scores from quite a few across the board. He was pleasantly surprised by the number of O’s. Granger of course, he could not deny that she was an exceptional student, her taste in friends notwithstanding, and at least 4 others. Including 2 from Slytherin. He was proud of his house but pleased for the end of the semester. Finally, he would be able to spend some time reading and working on his own projects.


	2. Tea and Sympathy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again J. K.'s sandbox and her toys

The Marriage Law.   
This was possibly the most humiliated she had been in her entire life. The requirements are clear, and it was an old standing law written into the central documents establishing the Ministry of Magic. If the population of Magical individuals were to drop below a previously set number, there would be testing done and people would be married. At first, she was excited, she received the owl and immediately rushed to Ron. He had blanched pale and ran. And she stood there like an imbecile, her stomach plummeting. Later she had learned that her 2/3s of the golden trio had been all a lie. He had secretly been seeing Lavender Brown, and she had been too busy with her work and studies to notice. He stayed close to her because she had helped him through school. Even their relationship was to get her to help him with studies. That was apparently the one thing that Lavender could not do for him, help him pass his NEWTs and OWLs. He had only used her.   
Brightest witch of my age my ass, she thought bitterly as she crammed everything she owned into her Hogwarts trunk. The closing ceremony was over, and she was packing to go… go where? Not home the war was over but her parents could not be recovered. She had known that when she cast the obliviate. She had no where to go. Harry was returning to the Burrow, where she could not bear to be, how many of them had known. She was such a fool. She sat on her bed, the head girl chambers gave her privacy, so she at least right now didn’t have to cry in front of her classmates, or see that bitch Lavender. A rapping came from her window, there was a grey owl, an official Hogwarts owl, the kind that delivered her yearly letters for classes sitting on the windowsill. She gave it a treat and picked up the letter. The Hogwarts seal gave her some hope.   
Dear Miss Granger  
We are pleased to extend to you a teaching apprenticeship at Hogwarts. There are several teaching openings that we would be lucky to have you teach. There will be room and board provided of course. Please attend an interview in the Headmistress’s office this evening at 7 o’clock to discuss particulars, and specific concerns. Tea provided. Pass-phrase Godiva.  
Headmistress   
Minerva McGonagall  
Her heart fluttered as she cast a quick tempis it was 5:45, of course. She abandoned packing, pulling free a towel, and rushing to the bathroom. An hour later she was approaching the gargoyle that guarded the door to the Headmistress’ office. She was wearing her school robes, over her nice shoes, with the most professional looking clothes she owned. She still felt like a child the first time going to see Dumbledore. She was fidgeting like mad, even if she got a job for next fall how would that affect her now? She still would have to live somewhere during the summer. Pushing down her fears she entered the headmistress’s office.   
“Ah Miss Granger! You are most welcome! Please sit.” McGonagall smiled at her warmly.   
Hermione smiled back instinctively and felt her shoulders relax.   
“Thank you, professor, this is lovely.”   
“I was hoping to coax you in to staying on” McGonagall gave her a sheepish smile. “I know you probably are going to want to go and make your way in the world with the others, but we would be most delighted if you would at least consider staying even if its just for a short while, I understand the marriage law will probably mean we will lose you sooner rather than later, but you are talented and I would like to see you teaching here. We could even work out a floo connection between here and the Barrow if necessary.”  
Hermione blinked. McGonagall did not know, of course she didn’t, why would she.   
“Ron and I will not be marrying, if that is what you are implying.” McGonagall looked stunned, “He has proposed and been accepted by Lavender Brown, she will…” Hermione’s voice caught, but she cleared her throat and continued, “be probably planning the wedding for early summer.”   
There was silence when she finished. And McGonagall reached a hand across the table, grasping the hand of the younger woman. “Please stay, you can be happy here, Hermione perhaps there is a way Hogwarts can still be your home. A few of us even stay over breaks.”  
One silent tear fell before Hermione nodded, “I would like that”   
“Please call me Minerva.” Minerva smiled at her. “would you consider taking the post for transfiguration? I of course would work beside you for your first year as you adjust and provide any assistance you need after but as headmistress, I cannot hold both posts.”  
Hermione’s shoulders felt like a great weight had been lifted off them as Minerva showed her the entrance to what would be her private rooms. The tall windows looked over the lake and a wide window seat. It already felt like home. By the time Minerva left her alone in her apartment she was excited for the coming summer and school year.


	3. The Way to a Man's Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Old JK's sandbox and toys.

Snape was perusing the restricted section of the Hogwarts library enjoying the near dead silence, when someone sneezed. It made him jump. Peering around the edge of a shelf he spied Hermione Granger in a corner, nose in a book and a cup of tea sitting on a small table next to her window perch. Her hair was a corona of sunlight. How had he missed her sitting there? Why was she here? With horror he considered the fact that perhaps the whole of the _Golden Trio,_ the phrase made his mouth sour, was still here for some reason. Perhaps just to irritate him, of course, they would see it as trying to make friends or some such drabble. Waiting until everyone went home, to corner him. They were adults now, he was not above hexing them. He glowered, his eyes fixed on the intruder.

...

Hermione could feel the pressure of a gaze. It was the day after McGonagall’s stunning offer and she was contentedly sitting with a good book and a cuppa in the window of the library, and until seconds ago she had been quite sure she was alone.

She looked toward the feeling of being watched and saw Profes—no she was no longer a student—Severus Snape scowling at her with all the intensity of a dragon.

 _Oh, cerci he really does hate me._ She flinched slightly, as his eyes narrowed.

“Why are you still here?” he practically spat.

“Uhm sorry, sir, Mc—Minerva offered me a job…? I was just trying to read a book… with Harry and R—everyone gone I wanted to get some reading done, and it was quiet. And it’s such a nice day for reading. And a book is perfect with a cup of tea, and ... And I am still talking… shutting up now.” She looked mortified and closed her mouth with a snap covering it with her hand.

As she watched his shoulders relaxed a little and his face softened. After a deep breath he replied, “No need to get in a tizzy Miss. Granger you are perfectly welcome to a good book, I had just thought my self alone.”

He turned back to where he had been browsing. She hopped from the windowsill and approached his isle. “I don’t think I have ever seen you in the library before, like maybe once, but that’s all. You never come here when the students are present do you, Sir?”

He gave her a narrow eyed glance, “Stop calling me Sir, you are no longer my student. And no, I try to avoid the library when the students are in. Too many people, too little space.” His voice was clipped and awkward.

“Very well what should I call you then, Severus? If so you must stop calling me _Miss Granger_ please call me Hermione.”

He looked down his nose at her, “I can get my books later, excuse me please” he squeezed passed her and started for the door.

_Of course, he is leaving to get away from me. I chase everyone away._

Her eyes pricked with tears of humiliation as she looked at the ground thinking of Ron and Lavender and how everyone had left with not a glance back. She heard the brisk steps faulter, and a slight huff. His robes billowed as he turned quickly back to face her. She blinked rapidly and tried with all her might to assemble her smile.

_This is embarrassing, Stupid Ron, I’m not normally like this. What is wrong with me._

Snape looked awkward. “Hermione,” Her given name coming from him made her smile lose its brittleness. She liked the way it sounded. “I am sorry for being abrupt I find my self awkward on the best of days and was merely startled, no one better deserves a post at Hogwarts, Transfiguration I presume.” He gave these words with little emotion, but they seemed sincere. He gave a little awkward bow and with a flutter of robes he was gone.

Hermione was so shocked she drained her tea before realizing she had let it go cold. She had been his student since she was 11 and not once had she seen him act this way. Not even during the war. She tried to continue reading but just couldn’t. What an odd man, perhaps she didn’t know him at all.

...

His heart thundered. He didn’t know what he had just said, “no one better deserves” what sort of blather was he spewing had someone dripped veritaserum in his coffee this morning. What in the nine hells was he spouting. He had said the truth, but…. Why did he say it?

His damned streak of gentlemanly behavior decided today to rear its ugly head. Of course. She is going to think I have gone mad. He rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair. And that bow, perhaps that last cruciatus curse before the end of the war had actually sprung something loose and now he was simply living in his head, or madness is a lasting result from Nagani’s poison. That had to be it.

He waited for the dinner bell. The great hall was not in use of course for break time meals they set up a smaller table in the staff room and surely Minerva would be showing off her new pet. The library should be safe. He cast a detection spell as he entered and breathed a sigh of relief. He strode quickly to the section he needed and was halfway through retrieving his book when he heard footsteps. _Gods no._ yes.

Hiding completely behind his occlumency shields to disguise his extreme awkwardness, he collectedly stepped from between the stacks. Granger jumped.

A wand already in her hand she blushed. “You’re back… I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to chase you away.” she looked embarrassed and shuffled back to her books. After sunset it seemed she had migrated to an inner table, the one he knew had the best light for reading at night, the table was strewn with books and, he felt his eyebrow and incredulity rise, a rather large orange cat contentedly purring.

When she caught the direction of his gaze she blushed deeply, “Please don’t tell anyone he’s here I gave him a mild _notice me not_ charm but it mostly didn’t work, I think its because he’s part kneasle. They have some resist magical properties. Or I’m just distracted.”

So, he wasn’t losing his touch, she _had_ been trying to hide him at least a little. He lowered his shield slightly and lost track of the cat. “No Miss. Granger your skills have not depleted. I just maintain my shields out of habit.” He tapped the side of his head. She looked interested and took a step forward with a deep breath. His wince was involuntary as he braced for her onslaught of questions and she paused. Biting her lip.

“I wont pester you now, but if you’ve come here to read this table is the best, I can move Crooks, and you are welcome to the other half if you wish.” Her eyes lit up with hope. He considered the tome in his hands and the stairs to the dungeons. All the way there, for a few hours of study and all the way back. He narrowed his eyes at her, “One rule, no talking, only reading.”

She nodded, emphatically, “I agree, but only if you never call me _Miss. Granger_ again, my name is Hermione.”

“Agreed, Hermione.”

At this she beamed and gathered the large orange cat into her arms clearing a spot at the table for him, as he summoned a quill and ink for notes.

...

He broke the silence before she did, after a decent amount of time (its impossible to keep track of time while reading) she heard his stomach rumble. Casting a quick glance to his face she pulled what she thought of as her tea kit from her bag, complete with a tin of biscuits and a halved sandwich. His eyes grew unabashedly hopeful at the sight of food. She was stunned at how much younger he looked in that moment. She had seen that exact same look on Harry’s face more than once. Not wanting to speak and break his ‘one rule’ she smiled and nodded offering him the sandwich and quick heating the water. He slid the large tome he had been studying aside and began to eat. She pulled a second sandwich from her bag.

Her questions were gnawing at her but she would not speak first. So she sat eating her sandwich in small nervous bites. He had finished the first sandwich half before noticing her discomfort.

“I will probably regret this, but you can talk during study breaks.”

She felt a huge grin break out on her face.

“I was just wondering about occlumency and your shields. How does it affect the _Notice Me Not_ Charm?”

“If you must know it’s a matter of higher level occlumency, _Notice Me Not_ is simply a matter of tricking the witch or wizard’s mind into thinking something is not important. So, if shields are well enough disciplined, they repel the charm as well. There are not many who develop shields like mine.”

“Well of course not you’re a magical powerhouse when it comes to that, you had to be, if you ever feel like teaching someone, I’d love to learn.” She finished with a hopeful smile.

_Oh my gods and goddesses did I just fan-girl over Snape_

He looked at her, “But if I did that, I would be bound to call you Miss Granger forever.”

It took her a moment to see the twinkle in his eye, did he actually just tease her? Who was this man in front of her? He sat looking at her in amusement his scowl not even a memory on his face, he was maybe 37 she always saw him as so much older. His hair was brushing his shoulders and shone cleanly. How in the what now? His nose was crooked and hooked but somehow right now looked defined. She smiled back at him.

“I could never stand for that, I guess I will be doomed to leaving my mind an open book to any foul fiend who comes along. Totally worth it.”

“Well then _Hermione_ , would you tell me why you happen to travel with a full tea tray in your bag?”

She shrugged, “It’s a habit I guess, I have been secretly feeding two teenage boys for my whole Hogwarts career, I didn’t even think about packing extra sandwiches, I have another if you are still hungry.”

At this he actually grinned at her, Severus Snape grinned, and nodded. “You _are_ a clever witch.”

She gave him a mock glare while handing him another sandwich, “You say that like you just figured that out, _Severus_ ”

“No, that was just me realizing that I could study with you more often. Though at this rate it will probably make me fat.” She snorted into her tea. That was an image, a chubby Snape teaching first years next semester hiding biscuits in his desk. But all the same his words made her feel light and happy, for the first time since Ron left. 

He gave her a suspicious look, and continued, “This was your plan all along ploy me with food and I will follow you forever. Not the best way to make friends Granger, you end up with people like the youngest Weasley boy following you around.” A stab of pain hit her most unexpectedly and she watched as Snape looked suddenly panicked then confused and finally, he nodded. “That boy is a dunderhead. Hopefully the two braincells he has to rub together can keep him from getting killed with the aurors.”

She gave him a half-hearted smile.

Grasping to change the subject she plucked at the low hanging fruit, “Severus, what are you studying anyway?”

In reply he while keeping a finger in the pages showed her the cover of his book, _Blood Rites and Rituals: The Importance of Muggles in Magical Bloodlines._ Her eyes grew round and she without looking pulled a slip of parchment from her bag and placed it on the table.

“You got one too?”

He nodded, “I figured it was a good place to start. I would rather have my rest unpolluted by having to marry someone I barely know.”

She repeated his motion with her book ‘ _Till Death do Us Part: History of Magical Marriage_

“You may make an even better study partner than I thought, Hermione.” He gave her another twitch of a smile and pulled the book back towards him.


	4. What is a Disagreement Between Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same disclaimer as before  
> Thanks for your comments and encouragements!!! I love hearing from you folks.

They fell easily into a routine, they would meet after her daily private lessons with Minerva, and they would read. They studied the old binding magics, blood lines, and historic population fluctuations. They met they read Hermione brought tea and sandwiches, oddly no one ever disturbed them. Madame Prince was on holiday in France so the library was deserted. In early July they were both sitting in companionable silence when she pulled her tea kit from her bag and three sandwiches. She waited for him to mark his page and look up before speaking.

“I’m not going to be here tomorrow evening; I have to be elsewhere.” She looked a bit green at these words and more than a little anxious. He waved a hand for her to continue, a bite of sandwich already in his mouth, she poured the tea her hands slightly unsteady.

“Ron is getting married to Lavender Brown tomorrow and I need to be there.” His normally cheery companion looked so very sad.

He chewed the sandwich slowly to give himself time to frame a reply. “You know, you don’t have to go.” That was the wrong reply.

Her face colored, and she set the tea pot down with a clunk, “Yes I do, I haven’t seen Harry for a month now and he has to put up with Ron during training the poor man is going insane. Even after what Ron did,” she gave the table a dark look “I need to be there.” Her words over, she hung her head. “I would rather be here in the library with you, and crooks.” she brushed her fingers across the cat’s back, “but they asked me to come, so I will.”

He felt incredibly awkward as warmth blossomed in his chest for some godsforsaken reason. At a loss for anything else to say, he offered, “I can feed Crookshanks if you want.”

She gives him a smile, a real one, and nods, “Thanks Severus, you are uniformly a gentleman. I can show you where my quarters are and where his things are when we are done reading tonight”

It was bothering him. She was far away from the other parts of the Golden Trio but she was still tied. From all he had seen they had simply used her and belittled her. But she remained loyal so much so she was willing to endure this humiliating spectacle for their sakes.

“Why, why do you feel like you owe them anything? Sure Potter is famous, but now so are you in your own right. Weasley has released you, the better for you I say, and you could completely cut ties. Are they truly that good of friends to you?”

She looked at him stunned.

“Wait did you only think I was hanging around with him because he was the ‘chosen one’?”

Before he realized the possible affront of his action, he shrugged a non-committal response as he took another bite. He nearly choked, he could see her defenses going up and affront painting her face red. The panic on his face stopped her in her tracks. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.

“Ron, honestly no, but Harry, yes, I know you dislike him for your own reasons but he’s really not that bad. You know he refused to let me help with any of his OWLs or NEWTs all the scores he got he got for himself. He’s stronger than many realize and great at making peace. I’m also going because he’s planning on proposing to Ginny after the ceremony privately and wanted to know what I thought about his choice of ring.” She smiled somewhat wistfully. “For my whole school career he was my best friend, and I love him dearly.” Her words became awkward, “Platonically of course, neither of us wants any more than that.” 

He gulped some tea to clear his throat, “I admit I may have been less than attentive to your social interactions.” He paused weighing her words and reviewing his memories, “and it seems I misjudged you both. In my defense I was trying to keep you alive, after all, every term, almost from the start you three ran head long in to every danger you could find. And I find it irresponsible to not do something to keep the children in our care, safe, unlike some of my previous colleagues.” He had begun in a placating tone but finished with sneer.

She blushed, “Okay maybe we did, but you _were_ unmercifully mean.”

He gave a little frown, “I was not, I simply don’t like people.”

Her eyebrows rose a little, colour coming back into her cheeks, “Of course, Snape, what would I know, I am an insufferable know it all but to stupid to choose my own friends. You hated Harry from the start, and looked like you wanted to spit every time Ron walked into a room.” 

“What did you expect when you little shits walk around feeling entitled and insulting me when you think I can’t hear you.” His face had grown irritated, “You’ll see, how many times do you have to hear a student comment on your hair, or call you names just for doing your job, before you dock them house points and give them detention. Or wait until you have the carbon copy of your childhood tormentor in your class and all you can see in their features, is the face that laughed while making you writhe in pain and shame. See how _you_ deal with it. Not to mention when you were a student, there always seemed to be someone trying to murder children, in _my_ home, under _my_ watch.” He glared at her.

Her mouth fell a gape. All her anger forgotten. “I’m sorry.”

He stopped, realizing how much he had said. His face was now growing hot, and his stomach felt as though he had swallowed an icicle. He was mortified. “I didn’t mean to be…”

“No, it’s all deserved. I even caught your robes on fire during my first year… I’m sorry.”

His look of chagrin turned into a light scowl, “That was you? Those were new robes.”

“I see no difference.” His own words, echoed from her mouth, he remembered them well enough, and winced.

“That was very wrong of me to say.”

“Yes it was, Severus Snape. Do you have any idea how long that haunted me, I had a tiny school girl crush on you at the time and you just about crushed my heart with your heel.”

“And Merlin once kissed a toad to find a prince.” His baritone was skeptical.

She shot back, “Excuse me but I think I know my own mind.” In a mockery of her earlier irritation.

He just gave her an unbelieving look as he picked his book back up.

After a moment of silence, she was still packing things neatly away after their dinner. “You know,” he paused, awkwardly trying to find the words, but finding it difficult to lift his eyes from the page. “I cannot look back and wish I would change things during that time it all had to work together just so, but I can say that now your smile brightens my day and I enjoy your company, I am glad I have gotten to know you better.”

Her hands froze in their sure motions, and she looked up as he completed the sentiment. She could see colour high in his cheeks. As he studiously inspected the page.

“Me too, Severus.”

He risked a glance up and she gave him a smile that he self-consciously returned.

…

“He really would probably like it if you sat with him a while he gets lonely, though he doesn’t like to admit it.” She nudged the cat with her foot as he made an indignant meow. “And he likes you, which is more than I can say for most people.” She was anxiously fidgeting with a stray piece of thread she had acquired from somewhere. It was strange having him here, but not in the way she had expected. She kept having to resist reaching out and touching him, now he was in her space, it felt _intimate_.

“I will likely be in the library when you return if you feel up to it you can check in to at least say hi.” His appraising gaze sliding around her apartment, when his eyes moved back to her, he gave her a small smile. “No need, to worry, I am sure we can suffer through it together. Either way it’s late, Goodnight Hermione.”

“Goodnight Severus”

…

Her apartment had been very much what he had expected. She had a row of overstuffed bookshelves lining the wall. Well dusted and obviously used, a window nook with a small pile of books on a side table. The whole place smelled like her, it was so comfortable and close. He had never thought there would be someone he was so at ease with, not since Lily. His train of thought abruptly jittered to a halt, that was an odd thought. Hermione was nothing like Lily, she was more strong-willed, driven, clever, and loyal to a fault. Lily had been kind, when he needed kindness, she had offered him friendship when no one else did and he knew that she had felt betrayed by him for falling for her. He thought of Hermione’s smile and their times in the library. He would have to be careful with Hermione, not only was she his student, but she was far younger than him. Lily had been 2 years older than he, he did some math in his head, but shook it away before reaching the end. The treacherous part of his brain reminded him she wasn’t his student any longer but a colleague, legally an adult, and had spend a considerable amount of time working with a time turner, and if he couldn’t find a way out of the marriage law... He did his best to stab that portion of his brain and leave it to die in an alley. He would not allow himself to ruin the best friendship he’d had in years, possibly ever.

By the time he reached his rooms he almost believed that part of his brain was safely extinguished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments and kudos you. I'm glad you are enjoying it.


	5. Weasels, Weddings and Snakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is a bit rough words are hard.  
> Thanks for reading  
> J.K. 's sandbox and toys.  
> Happy Reading

Hermione prepared herself for the wedding. Anxiety and dread pooling in the pit of her stomach she had barely been able to eat a slice of toast with her tea at breakfast. She thanked Merlin that it was in the afternoon she would have time to be fully awake…

It was a pity Severus had not offered to go with her. She knew he would not. Turns out her former potions’ professor was painfully shy, who knew. She thought about him as she did her hair, it was sad really that none of his students actually took the time to realize that he was not only incredibly intelligent but funny and kind. She imagined what the look on Neville’s face would be when she told him she actually had seen Snape grin. She felt a smile spread across her face when she thought of him in the library. She looked at herself in the mirror, seeing her smile, _your smile brightens my day_. She saw and felt the blush that coloured her cheeks as his baritone thrummed through her thoughts. Her mood now much improved she picked out her favorite earrings casting a quick glamour to make them match the silver necklace she was wearing.

She paused to scratch behind the cat’s ears as she left around noon, “Don’t worry Severus will come by and visit, you won’t be alone forever.” She saw him give a disdainful flick of his tail before the door shut and she made her way to the apparition point.

_Maybe it won’t be so bad._

It was worse than she had feared.

Ron acted like they were still the best of friends, even tried hugging her. He had apparently taken the time between the end of the term and now to tell their friends that she had broken up with him. Breaking his heart, and telling him she deserved someone better, or at least more intelligent. No wonder the letters from the Weasleys had been scarce. They all thought her a pretentious shrew.

Neither Harry nor Ginny had been trusted with this narrative, because Ron “didn’t want to hurt her reputation”. But Molly refused to do anything but glare and speak loudly about how some people were not at all what they seemed when Hermione was in sight.

Luna had been the one to inform her of Ron’s slander. The blonde witch had approached her and with big doe eyes asked how she could have hurt Ron like that. And she couldn’t do a thing about it. The closest thing to a family she had left were celebrating a wedding and causing a scene was the only thing that could make things worse. Tears stung her eyes as she promised Luna to talk to her later and stayed silent, at least for the ceremony. Then after Harry proposed to Ginny and Neville to Luna. The time just wasn’t right, she didn’t want to ruin their happiness. She was forgotten, all her friends were happily engaged and Ron was married. She watched as Lavender hugged Ginny and joked with the other Weasleys. She laughed and smiled soaking up all the attention lavished upon a new bride. Hermione’s smile was forced and congratulations hollow as she died a little inside with each well wish until it was all she could do to excuse herself and apparate home.

With a pop she appeared in the woods just outside of Hogwarts grounds. Finally, alone her knees buckled and she fell sobbing on the ground. The pain was physical and full gasping sobs tore from her throat. Why was everything so unfair. Her parents were gone. Her memory charm had been thorough, nothing to be done but allow them to live in peace, anything else would risk their minds. While she had the support of Harry and Ginny how long would it be before they too thought the worst of her. She sat uncaring about her dress or her makeup as she cried until no more tears came thankful that no one disturbed her. It was only 8:30 by the time she made it back to the castle. But she was so exhausted she went directly to her quarters, not wanting to see anyone.

She waved down her wards and unlocked the door. To find Severus sitting on the window sill petting a very contented looking Crookshanks. His presence made her jump.

“Oh, I didn’t expect you to be here, you scared me.” Her voice sounded raw to her own ears.

With one look at her he quickly but gently set the cat aside and in a few long strides was in front of her. His hands resting gently on her upper arms.

“Are you alright? Did someone attack you?”

He took in the state of her crumpled and dirt stained dress, her disheveled hair, pink rimmed eyes and pale face.

“Hermione, are you ok?”

The compassion and worry in his eyes made the lump in her throat rise again, all she could do was shake her head before she buried her face in his robes and more tears fell. She felt him stiffen for a moment but then very slowly he embraced her. His hand making small circles on her back. This close she could feel his magic flare to wandlessly close her door. They stood this way, her face against his chest, tears soaking into his robes and his arms wrapped around her rubbing comfort into her back, for several minutes. When he felt her breathing stop its hitching he led her to the sofa and pulled a blanket into her lap.

“You are cold, here sit by the fire, can I make you a cup of tea?”

She just nodded. He heated her stove top (she had requested one, its dreadfully difficult to make pastries without a proper oven, even with magic) and prepared the muggle kettle. She watched him move, his movements were smooth but he opened the wrong drawer at least once and had to _point me_ to find the tea. He even found the small jar of good honey behind the larger one. In 5 minutes with two steaming mugs he sat beside her on the sofa.

“Were you attacked, or was the wedding just that bad?”

She gave him a shaky smile and in between sips of tea told him everything. Her parents, the time she put into helping Ron study, the long journey of horcruxes and how she forgave him for deserting them, and the cheating and the break up. She told him about Luna and how she had to sit through the whole thing with the whole Weasley clan except Ginny shooting her hateful and/or hurt glares. Through the whole story he had grown more and more silent. By the time she finished his eyes were flinty and cold she could actually see his fingers shaking a little as he drank his tea.

“I-will-hex-every-last-one-of-them.” His normally smooth baritone grated out in a low growl.

For the first time in her life she saw what Neville had been afraid of, this man could be terrifying, but somehow she was soothed by it. Knowing there was someone, aside from Harry, who was now off starting his own life, who would stand and fight beside her made a little flicker of warmth blossom in her chest, where the hollowness had previously been.

“It’s ok.” She placed a hand on his clenched fist the contact made her fingers tingle. “Severus?” He jumped at the use of his name. His eyes met hers and softened a little.

“It’s far from ok, how could your friends treat you this way, they are all…”

She cut him off. “No, it’s Ron and only Ron, I will write letters tomorrow to Luna, Harry, and George, explaining the whole thing. I should have expected this but I was too caught up in our research and preparing for next term.” She smiled at him, this time it didn’t feel forced, not now, not here, not with him. “Thank you, I know listening to boy troubles is probably low on your list of things you want to do with your evening, but for what it’s worth I appreciate it.”

He raised a brow at her, “Are you sure I’m not allowed to hex anyone?”

She nodded, “Not even Ron, I wouldn’t want you spoiling your reputation, if you came to the defense of my honor, they might think you’d gone soft.”

He just gave her a mock glare. And her snicker was broken by a yawn.

“You need sleep, I was going to leave this for you” He produced a tiny vial of dreamless sleep.

“Thank you, I fear I may need this tonight. Goodnight Severus.”

“Night Hermione”

...

Walking away from her little cozy flat Severus could still feel his hand tingling where she had placed her hand on his. Her warmth in his arms had been so right he wondered if she had been able to hear his heart drumming in his chest as she had been pressed there. Just the thought of her there again caused his heart rate to spike.

The snake in him pointed out, that odds were if there was ever a chance of her accepting him, it would be now, she was particularly vulnerable. After all she had shown some sign of affection. His incredibly apt mind was almost overtaken by an image of him turning back knocking on the door and slithering his way into her bed. She would probably take any form of affection right now, that was plain as she had sought comfort in _his_ embrace. His steps faltered and stopped. He could feel the lust he had been pushing back coiling through him, as he remembered her as she had come in the door. Her hair swept back in a bun, small curls framing her features, her skin had been pale from crying but her lips were a rosy pink. Her eyes were bright with tears but shone like citrine in the light. The silver of her jewelry accentuated the curve of her face and collar bones. Her dress was perfect for her figure, fitting her curves in a way that made him wish he could fall to his knees and worship her as his very own Athena, in his view putting Venus to shame. His feet took him a few steps towards her door.

That was before the bruised and treacherous part of his mind, spoke, “She is worth more than this.” He stopped, standing barely contained in the hall. “If you want to have her, as a friend, if you ever want her to be more, if you actually care, you can’t go back.” Before his minds eye flooded all of the repercussions of his actions if he went to her now. She was broken, and hurt, if he crawled in and took advantage of that they would never be the same. She would never trust him again, and really should not. His hands closed into fists. He spun to head back to the dungeons. Shoving back the snake of lust, redirecting it into a plan to make that Weasel suffer, he had promised no hexes, but there were other ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your comments and Kudos, I love hearing from you guys!


	6. Setting the Record Straight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have to wait a while to discover the punishment Sev concocts for Ron.   
> 0_o   
> JK's Sandbox and toys  
> enjoy

The rest of the summer passed like a dream, though their research bore little fruit, Ron’s wedding was long forgotten. While the Hogwarts library has a large number of books on Magical Law, Vows, Blood Lines, and many other things there are very few books that even reference the old Marriage Law. It had been put in place by Merlin himself and reinforced by Morgana La Fey. They allowed a decent period for finding matches, 3 months, after which the Ministry would step in and assign the subjects of marriageable age, and status where possible. There were no explicit sexual requirements, only, barring infertility, the couples were expected to produce a child at the end of two years from the date of their marriage. Exemptions were mostly vague and included individuals beyond childbearing years. The writing was as fair for “an archaic piece of forced fuckery.” As Snape had put it. His statement had seemed tremendously funny to Hermione at the time and she did not stop giggling about it for days. They did find one fragment of a reference to a possible exemption.

“Severus, look at this.” She had interrupted his reading and he glared at her but looked at where she was pointing. “If I am reading this correctly, soul-mate matches are given preferment, the authorities bound to find soul-mates when possible. However, if an individual’s soul-mate is dead or otherwise unavailable, they are not compelled to marry. Here it says that there are only about a half of percent of wizards who qualify. That’s something at least.” She looked at him with a grimace. He knew she was thinking about Lily.

“What you are thinking it won’t work, not for me at least. She was never my soul-mate, we were friends and I…” he took in her non-judgmental gaze, she was politely curious, not pushing and not pitying, “I fell for her, I fell hard” he couldn’t help but grimace. “She never forgave me for that, it was the worst thing I could have done to her. She had trusted me to hold up my end of friendship and I let it crunch.” He felt a wash of guilt as the part of him he had dubbed Treachery pointed out how much she cared about his pain and swore Hermione would not react like Lily had.

Shaking free from Treachery’s pleas he continued, “That is what truly led to the break down between us. Potter” his expression turned briefly hard, “as much as I hate to admit it was not completely wrong about me, I would have taken her away if I could have. She spoke to me like an equal and was my only true friend. But was two years my senior, not to mention, I have never been the greatest catch.” He let a self-deprecating smile show. “I redirected my self-hate to her, it was foolish, but I was young and while nothing can excuse my words or deeds, they are done…” He paused to consider, “I think all the time I spent honoring her, keeping her son safe, was like paying for the crime of loving her when I should have just been her friend, but that’s over now, my life is my own.”

“Do you still feel the way you did about her?” Her words made him jump he had been staring at the flames in the fireplace.

His dark eyes met hers, Treachery searching for something to hold on to.

“No, Lily will always be my first friend, but my ledger is balanced.” He returned to his book.

Hermione just sat there watching him. She was shocked at his revelation.

A ridiculous idea darted through her brain, the expression before he had answered looked oddly like hope. That was absurd, what hope would he be entertaining about her, his former student, there was no way it had been hope. She watched as he ran his fingers through his hair pulling the dark locks back from his face. Her eyes traced his profile, she had never really understood the aversion others had to his looks. He was darkly handsome, his features sharp but picturesque in their definition. This close he was so real. Not the cold, dark caricature of a forbidding authority remote and untouchable. He was a man, a hero, a former death eater but still only a man. She could reach out and take his hand if she was convinced, he wanted her to. Her fingers itched to touch him again.

_Pull yourself together Hermione the man does not need some dreamy eyed girl fawning over him. He was very clear about how he felt about crossing the line between friendship and romance. It is a betrayal. Stop mooning over the man, you act like you have never been around an intelligent male in your life. After all what do you really have to offer, bushy hair and an annoying know-it-all voice. He probably sees you as a child._

She fixed her eyes on the page and tried to read.

…

About one week later

“ugh” Hermione let out a frustrated sigh, “This book keeps referring to another earlier work, and I am positive its not a part of the Hogwarts library. It looks like we are going to have to make a trip to Hogsmead”

Severus looked up at her quizzically. “We?”

Hermione stuck her chin out stubbornly, “Yes, _we_ , Sev. I was thinking we could make a day of it and stop and get lunch. Maybe there will be more books on related topics. It’s worth a try.” she shrugged.

He felt Treachery stir but quickly squelched him, barely succeeding (It had been more difficult after the evening of Weasley’s wedding when he had listened to his warnings). There was no way she was offering what his mind insisted she was. She was so nonchalant, and she was only interested in a friendly outing nothing more. How could she be?

_See she could never want that_ he snapped at Treachery.

“So, _we¸_ will leave at around 11 tomorrow and pick up lunch on the way to the book shop?”

He felt anxiety unfurl within him, along with excitement, no matter how she meant it, he would get to go somewhere with her. She wanted his company outside of castle grounds. He could not stop a grin from reaching his lips, as he nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit on the short side, but it felt like the right place to end.   
> I am in the process of moving so the chapters may come a bit slower. Sorry for the Delay, They are coming though, I have the story mostly complete, I am simply doing final edits and deciding chapter breaks as I post so barring divine intervention they will be delivered in time. :)   
> Thank you so Much for reading, I am truly thrilled you folks like it!!! :)


	7. An Outing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! enjoy  
> same as prev. disclaimers

The morning was warm, but not hot. Hermione, pulled her mane of hair into a loose braid, and applied a touch of colour to her lips, for their lunch. She chose her clothes the whole time telling herself it was no big deal.

They met just outside the Great Hall. She felt her heart drop when she saw his expression. The whole time she had spent looking forward to this afternoon he had been obviously dreading it.

“Shall we then” his voice was tight, and she saw something akin to his normal scowl.

She just gave him a nod and they left. The sun hung in the sky only blocked occasionally by high clouds, causing diamonds to shimmer across the lake. The smell of flowers and fresh grass was in the air as they walked across the grounds. Hermione snuck glances at Severus. His eyes were squinted slightly from the sunlight and an unbidden image of him wearing sunglasses caused her to snort.

He started and looked at her imploringly. Her snort broke into a giggle. “Nothing I was just imagining you in sunglasses, and the muggle biker jacket just naturally followed.” His eyebrow rose with incredulity, and there was a moment of silence before he gave her a little half smile. With a flick of his wand he summoned some sort of sun canopy, giving partial shade while not obscuring any of the surrounding beauty.

…

When she had walked down the hall toward him Treachery, who he had been shoving away, clamped on to him like an iron vice. Her blouse was emerald green and it made him want to smile. Fierce little Gryffindor sporting his colours. Her braid allowed loose curls to frame her face and he noticed a bit of makeup. She looked gorgeous. He bit down on Treachery, trying to school his features into a mask of friendliness. However, his inner turmoil must have been plain on his face because her bright smile faultered when she saw his expression.

Now next to the lake with his light diffusion charm covering them both, he took in her gaze, it made him feel like the only person in the world. 

He cleared his throat and spoke, “Not that amazing really, a simple sunblock charm. Deals with glare, and there is no chance of burning. It’s a mix of a few things, but works better than most spells I have come across. It’s a form of disillusionment that simply restacks particles in the air,” he shifted the way he was holding his wand and everything got briefly darker blotting all light out, before returning to the perfect clarity. “Exactly like polarized lenses.”

She beamed at him. He grinned back. They continued to walk.

…

Hermione walked close to Severus, from the apparition point they turned the corner to a small café. She could see the tension in his gait and his shoulders as the constant stream of people carried them along. She bumped his arm with her shoulder, he started a little, and looked down at her. She smiled up at him and his shoulders dropped a little. They took a small table for two in a quiet enough place for them to talk.

“So I was thinking…What?” she began but stopped. He was giving her a look she couldn’t quite place. He looked a bit dazed and a half smile graced his lips.

“Yeah? Oh yeah, uh… I was just thinking about the books, and sorry I didn’t sleep well…”

She looked at him strangely before shrugging and continuing, “If they don’t have what we need we can order some I know there is a fairly short deadline before the law will summon us for ‘testing’ but it may provide some unique insight.” Did she see pink in his cheeks?

“Of course, any new insight would be important.”

…

It was that damned braid and the damned sunlight. She had sat directly beneath a sun beam, and it lit her up like a goddess. A few stray curls had come loose to frame her face and her eyes shone like gemstones. He didn’t realize she had started speaking until she interrupted herself.

Treachery seemed to be stronger here. He couldn’t help himself from meeting her eyes and soaking up the warmth. The whole time trying to ignore whispers of how much she seemed to like his company and how her eyes seemed to get caught on his smile. Each time he was put down, Treachery would resurge stronger by the end of lunch Severus was practically floating. Hermione was just rising from the table when they heard a high-pitched squeal.

“Hermione!!! It’s so good to see you,” A positively bouncing girl ran up and hugged her. Severus recognized her, and he felt himself retreat behind his shields.

He rose silently. The girl stopped midsentence to look at him only to have her mouth drop open in horror and shock. “P-professor, I am sorry sir, I didn’t see you there”

Snape felt one of his brows rise, “You are unless I am mistaken no longer my student no need for that formality.”

The girl her eyes wide just nodded mutely.

“Sev, and I have been researching how to get out of the marriage law. We just stopped for lunch before going to the book shoppe.” Hermione broke in.

The girl looked incredulous then leaned to Hermione and whispered, “You went on a _lunch date_ with Snape?” Hermione instantly flushed bright red shaking her head.

Severus clenched his jaw and his stomach suddenly shaking with nervous energy, “I will wait outside. You can finish your conversation.” He couldn’t stay to hear her call him, what a colleague, an acquaintance, only a friend. _Any of the things but what I want. Damn you Treachery._ He was surprised when he exited that she was out in a matter of a minute or two. He thought they would talk longer.

“Sorry to leave you waiting,” she gave him a smile. He could still see a flush in her cheeks and tried to keep his eyes averted, for fear of her seeing his pain at her denial, and eventual rejection. _I cannot keep doing this._

He was shaken from his silent war, by her hand clutching his sleeve. “Oh, Sev, look!” they were walking by a shop window. There was a display, with pens, like actual muggle pens. They had color changing inks, and some were even quill shaped, but they were ink pens. He could not hold back a snort of indignation.

“There are going to be quite a few angry Slytherins when the term starts.”

She looked up at him confused, he gave her a half shrug.

“You really never knew? While there are less half-bloods and muggleborns in Slytherin they do exist. It usually takes them about 2 weeks to get their first packet of stick pens, but they sell them for a silver sickle each. This is going to seriously affect their profits.”

Her jaw had dropped, “You have to be kidding.”

He shook his head, attempting to hide a smile, “Every term, even I did it when I was in school. I made a healthy sum. It’s how I ended up paying for my school supplies, Merlin knows my parents didn’t have the money to pay for them. And Brewing can be expensive.”

She gave him a little shove. With a smile and chuckle, “Of course you would, Slytherin through and through.”

His half smile was easy as he shrugged. “It is in the job description.”

“No, it’s Genius, I would have loved to know you when you were a Hogwarts student.” He felt a warmth radiate through his chest. He knew the compliment was small, but he basked in it as they walked toward the book shoppe, his earlier pain and shame gone as shadows before a sunbeam.

A few days later...

“The students come back next week.” Severus broke the silence.

Her eye caught movement as she noticed him nervously fingering the page he had been reading. Or not reading, it was still the cover paper for the chapter. She met his eyes, they were like black fathomless pools, he was anxious.

“Yes, they do, and you are going to retreat to your dungeons, aren’t you?”

He gave her a sheepish look, “Too many people, too little space.”

“Well perhaps I will have to come to you,” every bit the stubborn Gryffindor, and his lips twitch into a small smile. “After all if I stop feeding you, you’d probably starve to death.” With this statement she pulled his two sandwiches from her bag and pushed them across the table to him.

He accepted them with a snort, “I am a fully grown man you know, I am perfectly capable of feeding myself.”

“And yet, you don’t” she gives him a pretend scowl.

“Your sandwiches are good,” he shrugged, “and you are nicer than the house elves, they don’t like serving a former death-eater no matter how much I apologize. Also, what Slytherin wouldn’t take advantage of the nice Gryffindor girl who gives them food…” he flashed her a wide grin.

Those smiles, they were still rare but each time, they transformed his face. His teeth were crooked, but she liked them, and in this moment she realized she really liked making him smile. It made her warm inside like butterbeer. She smiled back she could not help it.

When she returned to her rooms a letter was waiting, just inside her door like some one had slid it underneath.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I am sorry. Nothing I can do or say can make up for what I did to you. First with using you and cheating on you, I cannot excuse my acts as anything other than selfish, and wrong. Lavender and I are both to blame and she wishes me to pass on her apologies as well. I take full responsibility for your pain and am ashamed of my actions. The actions after are even worse, because I tried to destroy you to all who I thought would believe me. I was jealous of your abilities and success. I have set the record straight, I have no right to ask for forgiveness and only hope that you will one day be able to not hate me, even though it is deserved._

_Ron Weasley_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for your guys love and support.  
> my life has been kinda turned upside down in the last week and a half above and beyond the move sorry for the delay!


	8. Upheaval

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!! I hope you enjoy!  
> same disclaimer as before... there is a bit of profanity, idr if there was some before this sorry :)

She just stared at the parchment in her hands. It was in Ron’s untidy scrawl, and there were portions that looked like they had gotten wet. _Tears?_ Her own eyes filled with tears and her hands started to shake. Her bag fell from her shoulder and she felt her knees go watery.

_What is this?_

She let out a little sob, as she collapsed on to her sofa unsure of how she had made it there. She read and re-read the letter. Her brain felt like mush. A tapping at the window shook her attention from reading the letter for the millionth time. The owl she let in swooped in and dropping a letter, left without a treat. She pulled the letter from the envelope and found Molly Weasley’s writing. She just sat repeating words from the letter a loud. “We are so sorry dear,” “we should have never believed Ron,” and “Please forgive us for doubting you.” Her brain felt slow, the words on the parchment before her didn’t seem to fit. She heard the door close and latch shut, but didn’t make a move to look and Crooks jumped onto the couch beside her nestling in the crook of her arm as she sobbed tears of relief until sleep took over. The half kneasel a purring weight in her arms.

…

A long floo conversation with Harry and Ginny the next day did nothing to help her understand. Her reeling friends were trying to work it out but couldn’t quite make sense of his actions. For some reason Ron had come into the Barrow looking pale as a sheet and confessed everything at dinner the night before.

She was shocked when a few days later she saw a Prophet headline, “Betrayal, in the Golden Trio.” The story detailed how she had been used and manipulated, but far from feeling embarrassed she felt strangely freed. Ron was clearly the target of the article, and apparently the informer. She an innocent victim. There was anger first of course, but after that fled what could she do? The thing that most confused her was how silent Sev had been about the whole thing.

He had just shrugged and said, “Well I guess he can do _something_ at least half-way decently.”

The same day the term began Hermione received her letter of summon from the Ministry, scheduling her to come in for testing per the marriage law requirements in three weeks’ time. She chose to set it aside while doing last minute preparations before heading to the Great Hall to assist with decorations for the welcome feast.

She was amazed at how much it looked like a symphony with a McGonagall as the madly waiving conductor. Plates are flying every which way and house elves scurry each wearing their best little suits. Hermione had been pleased to discover that after the war Minerva had awarded each elf with a full set of clothes and wages. They were each free elves, serving by choice, though she was incredibly happy they didn’t have Dobby’s fashion sense.

McGonagall put her to work preparing the head table. Arranging seats and transfiguring the podium gave her things to focus on. With a small smile she arranged Snape’s chair to sit beside hers. As she worked she considered he was probably her actual best friend now. The thought disturbed her but she couldn’t deny that there was now a rift between her and Harry. It would be wrong of her to insist on the same closeness not that she envied Ginny or even thought of him in that way, but she knew Harry and her would never be as close as they had been.

By the time the children arrive she was humming slightly barely concealing a smile, the head table shines and she had transfigured the front of the podium into an incredibly lifelike tabby cat. McGonagall actually looked surprised and a bit touched by the likeness to her amagus form and pulled the younger woman into a quick hug.

“I knew you’d be the right choice, your attention to detail is beautiful Hermione.”

Hermione blushed deeply at the praise, “thank you Prof- I mean Minerva.”

She watched as Severus ran a critical eye over the podium and glanced at her, giving her a nod. She beamed back, when he noticed their seat placement, she saw his mouth quirk in a small smile and his shoulders relax a little. She knew he was anxious for the term to start, once again there would be hundreds of children traipsing through the halls of his home and not giving him a moments peace. She was glad she could make him feel better. They took their seats and sorting began. She politely applauded for each new student and it was only to E before she heard his stomach growl. She cast a wordless _notice me not_ and handed him a sandwich, the bag it was in had a little sparkly lion embossed on it. She fought to keep her face nonchalant and his eyes grew round and he let out the most stoic of snorts with a little half smile and feigned a cough to hide his snicker. She’d happily throw herself from the astronomy tower to see that expression again.

“It seems you are trying to ruin my reputation after all.”

She only smiled back, and applauded for a young Ravenclaw named Grey.

He was pretty sure she was trying to kill him, the sandwich was of course wonderful. All of them were. He didn’t understand how she could make a simple sandwich that tasted like the best thing he’d ever eaten but she did, and it was the same each time. If she could make a sandwich that tasted like this what else could she make?

She sometimes brought biscuits to study sessions and those had all been amazing too.

The way she had just smiled back at him had made his stomach flip flop. He had needed to regularly beat his brain into submission around her. It was so easy to just be free, and enjoy her company, however more than once he caught himself wondering what it would feel like to tangle his fingers in her hair. That beautiful Lions mane… _no…_ once again he bludgeoned Treachery over the head and shoved him in the closet reminding him he was old enough to be her father and there is no way she would ever think of him like that, to indulge those feelings would hurt her and him.

The ministry letter once again popped up in his mind three weeks time, they would subject him to some form of odious tests that supposedly were going to reveal his soulmate, if he had one and then if none surfaced they would assign him an appropriate bride. Age appropriate, and not one of his former students, and it would be dreadful. His expression soured, he sipped his wine, for now though he could put that off he thought and re-acquired his studied nonchalance. Chatting with Hermione over dinner was a nice change from his normal starting feasts where he tried to drink until he was no longer anxious and the alcohol only made him feel headachy and slow.

Their study sessions are no longer nightly but they are still taking the time to meet, sometimes it’s in the dungeon and sometimes in her kitchen. With many cups of tea and an horribly pesky ginger cat. The dungeon sessions quickly turn into him showing her his potions projects, and soon she is assisting in his lab,

“Severus,” They were in the dungeons and she was slowly stirring a simmering potion.

“Hmm?” His back was turned and he was only half paying attention.

“Do you think that there is a possibility of brewing a potion that could counter the effects of failing to comply with the marriage law?”

His spine straightened, and he turned slowly pondering. “I would have to think about it. Perhaps if we treat it like a curse… it could work. It would take time, and I have to report for _testing_ next week.”

“So do I.” She looked in to the cauldron thoughtfully, “It’s a pity there is not an easier fix.”

He heard Treachery speak with his mouth, “I suppose you and I could always just get married.” He panic struck nervous laughter and he sounded like a madman to his own ears.

“I have class early tomorrow and I still have to set up my room.” With that she grabbed her bag and was gone before he turned around.

_What the ACTUAL FUCK._

He cursed himself and his foolishness. He was a former death eater, old enough to be her father, the bat of the dungeons, greasy git, and the worst of all, he was the fool who had betrayed their friendship and been inappropriate. He scrapped the potion he had been working on dumping it in the magical waste bin he kept for terrible students. He felt sick.

He would probably never be able to approach her again with any semblance of confidence, not that she would want him too. That was what had broken his friendship with Lily, and now it happened again. He hated himself. How could he have been so stupid. His fingernails bit is palms inside of his clenched fists. He hadn’t meant to, but he’d broken this friendship like everything else he had managed to get his hands on. He poured himself a glass of firewiskey and downed it like a shot before going to toss and turn in bed.


	9. Dream a Dream of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!!!   
> Turns out I am particularly impatient to post currently ;)   
> JK's sandbox and toys. Thanks for reading!!!

They did not speak for the next full week, though after a few days she heard a knock on the door only to find a bottle of dreamless sleep sitting in the doorway accompanied by the flutter of receding robes.

She had suspected it, but this confirmed he was avoiding her, or perhaps she had been avoiding him. It was just whenever she saw him, that terrible laughter rang cruelly in her ears.

The evening before she had to appear at the Ministry for _testing,_ she was assigned to patrol. She was in the corridor leading to the library when she heard quiet steps. Wheeling around and casting _lumos_ her wand shone on a squinting Snape. He looked like a deer that had been caught in the headlights

Her wand lowered.

“Oh, it’s you,” she breathed, feeling deflated. He was not in his usual layers of teaching robes, even in the summer he had maintained multiple layers of robes. However, now he stood before her in what looked like muggle sleeping clothes, black of course and he was wearing slippers.

“Snape, are you sneaking out to get a _book_ in the _middle_ of the night because it’s the only time there are no students in the library?”

At her use of his sir name she saw him flinch slightly, but he straightened.

“Why, yes, I am, _Granger_ , and do you have anything you would like to say about it?”

She could see his eyes grow cold while looking at her. It made her shiver, it was like he could see into her soul. A horrifying thought passed through her mind, what if his statement in his lab had been said because he had noticed her lingering glances. Her heart shriveled within her.

“No, sir, I will go now.” She turned to go.

“Stop.” His voice, the crack of it, commanded her to obey. She froze. “Calling. Me. Sir. You are an adult now, act like it.”

Fire roared in her chest consumed her mind and all she saw was red, as she wheeled she stalked to him and in a low dangerous whisper, “You have no right to speak to me like that, I am twenty two years old and by every law in every nation in the world an adult. You have been avoiding me like a schoolboy for over a week now. You. Severus Snape are the child.” She was close, too close, he could see little flecks of silver and green in her normally warm brown eyes and her hair crackled with magic. She was the perfect image of a wrathful goddess and all he wanted to do was fall at her feet and worship. Before he could react though she turned on a heel and was gone.

_She was twenty-two, How?_

He needed to think now, his mind would be too twisted up in thought to read. He had to be at the Ministry early any way. He would never forget that image of her though. The annoying unkillable part of his brain kept prattling on about a summer’s day and how lovely and temperate. He growled at himself but could not deny how she had affected him.

Hermione had almost kissed him, she was so angry and then she had gotten so close, she had looked into his eyes and swore there were flecks of red and gold in the fathomless depths of his eyes. She must be going mad.

She knew he had no interest in her. There was no way he did not after that horrible evening and that laugh, all that aside she had almost snogged Severus Snape in the middle of a dark hall like a randy teenager. The night clothes he had been wearing suited him. She saw him in her mind’s eye the half sleeves exposing most of his forearms revealing scars so many scars. The neck of the shirt had had the top button undone and she had seen the mottled scar that the high neck of his robes hid. He was tall and as the sleep wear had revealed more muscled than she had realized, though lean.

The words _climb him like a lamp post_ flitted across her brain and she blushed. Had she still not overcome that schoolgirl crush on her former teacher. Ugh…He was unconventionally handsome, but she loved his intelligence and the way he spoke. She went straight back to her rooms. Any roving students would go unpunished tonight. She took a cold shower, refusing to feed these fantasies.

When she slept her dreams were, odd to say the least. She had not taken the dreamless sleep, as she had to be awake in a few hours.

_She was back in his dungeons only there were two of him one, looked much younger, though he looked to have many visible bruises and scrapes, he smiled easily and rather than focusing on study he was standing beside her his eyes fixed on her with soft admiration. She watched as the version of her stirring the cauldron, lamented the long fix and wished there was something easier._

_The version of him who was looking at her with adoration spoke, “We could get married!” He said this with so much hope he looked like he was going to start glowing. She watched herself blush, then came the laugh. Not from the adoring Severus but from other, the laugh looked more like a cry as she watched him grab the smiling hopeful man who had been earnestly imploring her for an answer and beat him over the head with his cutting board shoving him into the cupbord. The laughing man, no this was not a man laughing, the crying man finding himself alone overthrew the cauldron he had been working on and screamed in frustration and rage. Tearing at his own skin._

She woke.

What in the seven hells did that even mean?

Hermione had expected the Ministry to be busy and bustling, what she had not expected was the fact that Snape seemed to be here for the same appointment time. She entered the waiting room and while it was occupied it was not overly full, from what she could gather, this being a Saturday affair was a special allowance for Hogwarts staff. Staff which apparently included not only her and Snape, but Hagrid, and a very disgruntled looking professor Vector. She knew Septima was one of the younger teachers but had not even thought to ask. She gave her former teacher a smile, and shy wave. They really had not spoken much after the war, as she went out of habit to sit next to Severus. He looked anxious, no matter how upset with him she was she could not leave him to suffer alone.

He nodded to her. This was neither the time nor the place to argue, then again neither was the corridor outside the library she thought blushing slightly. And to be perfectly honest, she missed their study sessions. She pulled a half sandwich from her bag and set it on the arm of the chair between them.

“Sorry, I was cross.” She said in a whisper, not looking at him, right before Hagrid relocated beside her.

“Hey there ‘Mione , What do you think they are going to do anyway?” Hagrid was fidgeting with his raggedy old umbrella. “Snape.” He nodded to the potions master oddly curt. Severus responded with a curl of his lip and a similar nod. For Hermione there was a surreal moment and a realization hit her like a truck, Snape did not dislike everyone, not how they supposed anyway. He was just bad at making himself understood socially.

_Oh gods did I just use the “he’s not bad just misunderstood?” excuse._

But it perfectly fit. Snape went back to focusing on not panicking about having to have mysterious rigorous testing done, while Hagrid gave him a glare and muttered something from which she could only make out the words “manners” and “git.” She rolled her eyes.

“This is probably just testing to assure that the individuals have no prior soulmate claims before they are matched based on probability and blood line.” She had concluded this sometime in the last week and had yet to run her theory by Severus, who had looked up at her words.

He nodded, “Sounds likely, my only concern is how they are planning on doing the testing.”

At this Septima chimed in, “It has got to be wands, as well as a few other factors. There are Arithmancy equations though they do not always produce results. There are some studies that indicate only a very- _very_ small percent of the wizarding population even have soulmates so the calculations are very difficult to test. It is better that than being at the mercy of probability and statistics.” Her delicate shoulders gave a little shudder.

Silence fell over the waiting room. Before the conversation could begin again an elderly witch with soft looking features called for all four of them.

The room they came in to had a table with 3 occupied chairs. Mr. Ollivander was perched like a bird in one, immediately by his side was a younger man who looked to be returning from fetching him tea. The other chair supported a rather plump looking woman with a wand holding up a frizzy bun, Her fingers were ink stained and she wore rather thick glasses. On the table before her was a rather large stack of scrolls and the most complicated abacus Hermione had ever seen. “Cavendish?” Septima broke the silence. “Silviana Cavendish, this is your horrible project? Of course it is. You were always the romantic one of us.” Septima approached the stunned looking young woman and gave her an awkward hug. “At least I know I can trust your figures, no one else studied this more than you did.” The plump woman blushed scarlet but did not say a word biting down on her lower lip so hard Hermione thought she might break skin.

“Ah,” started Ollivander, recognizing the group who had just entered. “Septima Vector, Unicorn Hair, Black walnut, very solid. Good to see you my dear, how long has it been 15 years?” The old wand maker reached out a hand and shook Vector’s.

“Yes, sir, I am glad we are in good hands today on both accounts, Who is this?” She turned to the young man who had been fussing over Ollivander, and he gave her a conspiratorial smile. “My apprentice, I figured after the war it was time, I won’t live forever you know. He’s smart enough and has a good eye for people.” The apprentice looked incredibly self-conscious at these words and busied himself with the mechanism on the table.

Hermione was transfixed, it looked a bit like a scale but was considerably more complicated. She cleared her throat, “Mr. Ollivander what type of tests exactly will we be participating in?”

His pale eyes moved to her, “And Miss Hermione Granger, excellent wand Vine, Dragon heartstring.” He gave her a smile, “as curious as your reputation demands. This is a device similar to the one used during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Only this collects data about your magic, it reads your wand, As the most common conduit for magic your wand is intimately connected with your essence. Over extended use and time the wand core alters and wood alters to match the finer points of its wielders personality some even say soul, while the wand itself first does the choosing, you work together to make your magic a reality.”

His eyes fell on Severus who was now looking more anxious than ever, and slightly green, Ollivander approached the younger man and placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I always knew you were more than you seemed, Cypress and unicorn hair, though it looks like you faced your heroic death and survived,” the wand maker gave him a smile somehow secretive, “you’ll do fine.”

After giving Hagrid a conspiratorial wink, Ollivander fiddled around with his machine and the testing was underway.

Testing had taken most of the day and they traveled together back to the apparition point. Hermione did not quite know what to think. There had been a lot of “Hmm”s and “ooh”s there had been even a few “interesting”s but their results they were told would be mailed to them the following week. It was all so frustrating. They had weighed the wands, taken blood and had them each perform a few simple spells. The spells had been each of the wielder’s choosing. Though there was a portion that caused Hermione no end of confusion. At towards the end of the day when they were separated into their own testing rooms they had brought her Snape’s wand. Asking her to pick it up and attempt a spell. She had been surprised at the results as she had done a simple flowering charm, to make the end blossom. The whole length had burst out in pink petals of light that rained down like cherry blossoms in May.

The week was a long one. Longer than it should have been. By Wednesday she decided it was time to mend fences. The sandwich had been a start he had been at least nodding to her in the halls when they crossed paths. So after a particularly bad batch of 3rd years, Gryffindor and Slytherin of course, she decided to take a stroll to the dungeons. She came in as there were a group of giggling 6th years, departing and a very disgruntled looking Snape.

“Hi.” She began and he jumped with his full body nearly dropping into a dueling stance.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I just…” she swallowed her nerves, “I miss our conversations. I didn’t mean to…” He looked flushed, _was he ok?_ She pushed through, “Sev, I want to be friends again. Please?”

He looked at her and swallowed, the treacherous part of him wanted nothing more than to walk up run his fingers through that beautiful hair and crush his lips to hers. “I miss you too, I mean our conversations, and your sandwiches.” He added with a little smile to let her know his sincerity and she smiled back at him.

_Merlin, he was besotted._

There was no point in denying it today was only further proof. The scent of Amortentia still hung thickly in the air and it was all Hermione. It is somewhat routine to teach the 6th years the love potion, more for caution than anything else, his lessons always were heavy on detection and caution about it, but previously every single time he had only smelled books and lilies, cruel reminders of his own failures. Today though. Today was different he tried not to breath it in, it was just making him want her more. It was all Hermione, he could smell her hair, and the brand of ink she preferred, and the library. She had to smell the amortentia too, but she seemed unaware she was _gods_ she was beautiful, she was saying how much she missed their meetings. He tried to gather his thoughts, she was distracting, he tried to be smooth and make a joke. At the moment he didn’t care what the nature of their relationship was all he wanted was to be near her.

His next class started to trickle in, so she smiled at him before taking a more teacherly tone.

“Very well Severus, I appreciate your input.” she gave him a sly wink and bounded up the stairs.

Her steps were quick and joyful as she ascended the stairs passed a group of apprehensive looking first years. She snickered a little. She now knew the value of instilling some small amount of fear in the students, otherwise they were entirely unmanageable. After she passed them, she almost skipped, before remembering she was a teacher and that would be undignified.

The world was back on its axis and she had her friend back. She thought back to their little peace talks, she hoped he was feeling ok, how many books was he bringing down there the whole dungeon smelled like the library, and perhaps they had been brewing something especially herbal, it smelled just how his lab always did but somehow stronger. He had seemed so dazed she wondered if he was eating enough.

The rest of her day passed mostly uneventfully she happened to be on early patrol the shift immediately before curfew and was helping Madame Prince close up the library when she heard two girls snickering in the stacks.

“No, I swear, Creavy was lagging behind after potions and heard them.”

“Ugh, ew, He’s gross though all that greasy hair and his awful black eyes.” She made a mock wretching sound, “If I got matched with someone like that from the marriage law I would just kill myself, better than being close to that greasy git.”

Hermione saw red, she cast a _lumos maxima_ wordlessly and shone it full force on the two gossiping 4th years. “Twenty points from Gryffindor for each of you” her voice was a barely contained whip. “You _will_ respect your teachers get to your common room _now_.”

How dare they. She stayed patrolling for a while after that, she needed to work off some of the excess rage and let her mind process. She was walking by the 1st floor great hall entrance when she heard, “Hermione?” She spun.

“Severus, I didn’t see you there,” she smiled at him looking into the inky depths that were his eyes she couldn’t understand how anyone could see anything but beauty there. They walk in tandem. “Have you found out anything about the marriage law lately? I assume you’ve been studying…” she started awkwardly thinking of the library smell that had permeated the dungeons.

He sighed and ran a hand through his black locks, it pulled his hair back and she could see his profile better. She liked his nose; it was prominent of course but it was also _perfect_. That was a strange thought. Not that she could disagree, it shouldn’t fit him so well, but it did. She tore her eyes from his face in the shadowed light and tried to focus on his words.

“I looked into their testing process, as far as I can tell it’s a mix of new and old. The testing of the wands is typical but the addition of the Arithmancy is new. From what I have been able to find out the woman doing the calculations is excellent in her field, she’s been studying this since she was in Hogwarts herself, she’s even been published in a few reputable journals, but her application is unprecedented. I think the only reason she is in on this project is because she’s remotely related to some of the oldest wizarding families.” He finished he was obviously frustrated. Without thinking she took his hand, he jumped and looked alarmed into her face, but his fingers closed around hers.

“It’s going to work out you are the most intelligent wizard alive; we’ll figure something out.” His eyes searched hers for a second, but he said nothing. She let go of his hand and he turned to resume walking. Her fingers tingled. She had never really touched his bare skin before, not, like that.


	10. Delay

I'm sorry friends and readers for the long lag from last posting I will try to finish up edits and post more tomorrow. 

Some severe irl changes have made even turning on my computer weird and i haven't felt much like writing. My husband of 10 years left me for one of my best friends back in July. Sooo writing tales of soulmates was a bit .... Uhm not fun. Things are normalizing again tho so I will hopefully get back to posting soon 

❤️❤️ Thanks for all the love and support for my story 


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